You miss everything about her. You can’t get her out of your thoughts, this unbelievable woman who is no longer in your life. Is there any way you can get your ex-girlfriend back? Certainly there is, and we’ll explore that here.

The answer isn’t simple.  Each case is different.  This is an problem faced by many men.  The question is how to reignite their relationship with that one in a million girl.

What you do depends on why she broke up with you in the first place.   Was it an issue with cheating with another woman? Did you not pay enough attention to her?  Or didn’t you share the same interests.

These are all huge obstacles.  But neither of them is impossible. What you need to do was figure out the spark in the beginning that brought you together in the first place.  Then you need to bring her back to that point and rekindle her interest in you.

Click here to find out why couples without realistic expectations have more problems – and how you can craft your future discussions around this simple fact.

Here are some “dont’s”…

First, do not beg or plead with her. This is a huge turn off. You position yourself as pitiful.  It will cost you her respect.  And it is demeaning to you.  It will make matters worse.

Time heals.  Whatever you do, don’t rush.   The lack of communication creates mystery.  She’ll soon be thinking what you’re doing.  Give it a week or two.  If you used to communicate regularly, she will miss talking with you.  This creates a void.  But don’t wait too long that she fills the void with something else.

Then ask her to meet with you for a drink, just to talk and catch up.  If you’ve been together for a while, there’s plenty you could talk about.  Make it about her.  Girls love talking about themselves.  Don’t pick a noisy club, but a quiet place where you can sit and talk and enjoy a drink.  You could even pick your favorite place, or better yet, her favorite place.  This will get her in a good mood off the start.

If you did something wrong, and that was the reason for the break up.  Then apologize to her at the outset.  Get it off the table.  Don’t make that the reason you got together for a drink.  After apologizing, quickly move the conversation back to her, be it her job, family, friends, etc.

If the conversation does stick on the relationship, focus on the good.  Show gratitude for all that she did in the relationship.  Make the point that you shared so much good that it would be a shame not to work on overcoming the negative issues together and make your relationship the best it can be for both of you.

If she’s truly right for you, she will magnify your emotions and your life experience.  Let her know how she makes you feel, and how she makes your life better.  Be honest and open.  And communicate how you want to make her feel.

Another approach is a third-party intervention. But this depends if you have a mutual friend in a position that they can talk to her.  Have your mutual friend suggest that “you two were such an awesome couple; it is a shame that you are no longer together.  I know (insert your name here) talks about you all the time and how much he misses you.”

This is called planting the seed or priming the pump.  Then you can follow up the next day.  You’ll be in her subconscious and she’ll have been thinking about you for a day or so.

A less direct tactic would be for that same friend to frequently comment on what a nice couple you were together. They could go on to say, “It’s too bad that you never worked out your differences.”

If your mutual friend communicates back to you that there is any sign of interest, again, you should be on it within a day or two, while the thought is still fresh in your ex-girlfriend’s mind.  The subconscious is a weird thing.   If you can get good thoughts in her head, and follow up with a phone call, there is a high likelihood that you’ll get a second chance.

After you’ve made the connection, what should you do next? Have a plan. Similar to doing a presentation, you should have a well thought-out agenda for your meeting.  But don’t make it too prepared.  Just anticipate what issues she may bring up.  And have somewhat prepared responses.  If she’s worth it, it’s worth doing a little extra work.  And start a few days before.  Remember that thing called the subconscious?  Well, if you input some issues a few days earlier, it continues thinking about them and will give you solutions.

In public speaking, you start with an attention-getting opening statement, tell them why you are there, go into the body of your speech and then close with a reaffirmation of why you are there.  Just don’t make it sound too prepared.  If people know when they’re being sold to, they generally shut down.  The real art is selling covertly.  Try some of the discussion out on a friend.

But at the end of the day, “Don’t forget to ask for the sale!” If she shows any interest, ask for a reconciliation. If the response is ambivalent or negative, you should determine why.

Unless the reason she broke up with you was something so bad, that she’ll never forgive you,  then you should be able to generate interest in continuing the relationship. Just lay out the positive reasons to reconnect and promise to resolve any and all of your problems, you should be successful.