If you and your partner are going through a difficult time in your marriage, you might be thinking about marital therapy.  But you also may be hesitant to pursue it if you are wondering, does marriage counseling work?  Well, there is no definitive solution to that as the success of any type of counseling often depends on many various elements.  Numerous partners do find it to be particularly helpful to their partnership.  Other people really feel it was ineffective or helped extremely little.  This article explores some of the aspects that are essential to answer “yes” to the query, “Does marriage counseling work?”.

Click  here to find out why couples without realistic expectations have more  problems – and how you can craft your future discussions around this  simple fact.

You both are committed to working on the relationship

An crucial factor for any type of treatment or counseling to be successful is that the person getting it must be committed to the procedure and to improving the situation.  For partners, if only one of you is committed to working through your relationship troubles while the other is resistant, the answer to the query, “does marriage counseling work?” is more than likely going to be “no”.

Counseling is a cooperative process between the client and the therapist.  The greatest marriage counselor on the planet is going to have restricted success with a person who has no wish to truly work on the partnership.  It has to be a two way street. Sometimes resistance to the treatment process can be overcome, especially with an wonderfully experienced and competent therapist, but it will be very tough.

You have a counselor with whom you each really feel comfortable

An additional key element with regards to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is whether or not you have a counselor with whom you each feel comfortable.  No therapist is a wonderful match for everyone.  If this is the case, you and your spouse would be much better off to get a different therapist to work with.  Too much is at stake to attempt to drive a therapeutic relationship that doesn’t feel right for each of you.

You are each prepared to do the work

Talking in and of itself will only go so far in terms of bringing about the desired changes in your relationship.  While it can be helpful to have a safe place to discuss your feelings and issues, there needs to be even more.  Lots of therapists will give you exercises or homework to do between sessions.  These exercises help to reinforce what you are learning in treatment and give you an opportunity to practice new abilities which you can talk about each and every week. The more you and your partner take part and do the work, the much more likely the answer to your question, “does marriage counseling work?” will be yes.

Sticking with it and tolerating the discomfort

Two other incredibly essential elements in terms of the question, “does marriage counseling work” are:

• You stick with it
• You are prepared to tolerate issues getting even worse before they get better

A lot of people drop out of counseling at some point.  They get discouraged or don’t like the process and suppose the answer to, “does marriage counseling work?” is “no”.

One of the key reasons people drop out is simply because things frequently get even worse just before they improve.  A good therapist will prepare you for this upfront.  Marriage counseling is going to open up some wounds and deal with some painful problems.  Initially, that can seem to generate even more pain.  But it is akin to the necessity of cleansing out an infected wound so it can finally heal.  The cleansing process is painful, but it must happen or the wound will never go away.

If each and every of these elements is existing for you and your husband or wife, then the solution to the question, “does marriage counseling work?”, is very often a resounding yes.  It is not going to be easy, and it may be a lengthy procedure.  But if you really wish your marriage to be healthy and strong, the rewards are definitely really worth it!

PS – Relationships are very rewarding, but you’ve heard all the cliche’s – they have to be watered or they don’t grow. I have been in on marraige counseling before and it is painful. There’s a reason they have a box of tissues in front of you. And it can be more painful for one partner than the other. But it is not a competition. There is no one winner, there are either two winners, or NO winners.

I would suggest making a rule before you go in, that you will be open and honest – and that you will leave what happens in mariage counseling, in the couselor’s office. Walk out, hug, kiss and move on. Over time, the wounds can heal. But you have to give them time. You have to commit to the process.